Pe strada

La pranz era plin de lume prin centru, aka where the shops rule., fiecare cu cate o punguta sau pungoaie, de cadou sau branduita, grabindu-se catre vreo  rubedenie ori jumatate in asteptare. Peisajul m-a facut sa zambesc. Consumerism, dar simpatic al dracului.

Rudele

O, rudele! Si-au facut aparitia neanuntate – ca de obicei – pe 24 dimineata. Era cam 12.05, adica dimineata in toata regula. M-am incruntat instantaneu pentru ca programul zilei era bine delimitat: luat cadou-intalnit si dau cadou-baut-intalnit cu altcineva-dat cadou-baut.  Sa nu fiu chiar scorpie: recunosc ca oamenii stau putin cand vin in vizite; totusi… In fine. De fiecare data cand dau sa plece, parca suntem la casa de nebuni: “ia de aicea banii astia de la unchiu/bunica/matusa, ca doar o nepoata avem”, “nu, fara bani, stati calm ca aveti mai multa nevoie de ei ca mine”, “hai ia-i ca ma supar, cum sa refuzi, asa se da de Craciun” “nu” “ia-i” “nu nu nu nu” “da da da da” etc etc. In timpul asta imaginati-va un soi de lupta interfamiliala in care bunurile sunt pasate rapid dintr-o tabara in alta. Apoi vine contraatacul: “atunci luati voi cozonacul asta” “nu nu nu” “hai ca e de casa, e natural, e bun” ” lasa, tineti-l voi” etc. Taberele cedeaza intr-un final. Asta se intampla de cel putin 15 ani.

Cadourile

A fost Craciunul cadourilor sub forma de carte. Am oferit cadouri numai catre 2 persoane, insa toaaaaate elementele componente au fost cumparate din minunatul si ingrabadeschisul Carturesti (Piata Sfatului nr.20, unde a fost Indica). Album, comics, carte amuzanta…Nu, nu am daruit Kant.

Mesajele

Nu stiu daca merita re re re re-mentionate, zic doar ca pana la 23.59 pe 24 dec primisem deja vreo 3 in registrul “fie ca”.

Ce vreau eu

Nu vreau nimic specific. Mi-e greu sa cred ca am spus asta dar chiar nu am vreo dorinta arzatoare. Cand eram mica era mereu ceva: papusi, puzzle, carioci, role, combina muzicala, laptop, haine nu-stiu-de-care, sa merg colo sau dincolo. Acum vreau numai sa ma intorc in Copenhaga in cursul lui 2010. Am nevoie de doza :)

2009-le , bilant blah

Orice an pare sec, fara realizari, extrem de asemanator cu predecentul. Nu imi fixez obiective clare – ceea ce probabil ca mi-ar stabili o directie si m-ar indemna la realizari de dragul indeplinirii lor. Pe scurt, m-am intors de la danezi cu situatia incheiata, am vazut Stockholmul, mi-am luat licenta f bine, am inceput masterul, am participat la o conferinta, am facut un blogmeet, am deschis un proiect de suflet, am inceput o relatie si am schimbat ‘cercurile’ in care ma invart. Dpdv profesional nu am cu ce sa ma laud pentru ca deocamdata acolo e un bai. Nu e chiar asa de rau… citand din GLC: “if you take everything I have achieved in my life and squeeze it into one day, it looks decent.” Nu-s multumita. More, more, MORE!

A, da, si azi am baut.

A, da, si de Rev stau acasa.

A, da, si cel mai mare cadou de la mos, mai bine zis de la “baba” (=mama)  e un pat. Cel vechi era vechi si imi dadea dureri de spate.  Da, puteti face misto.

Dupa ce petreci un timp suficient de indelungat intr-un oras ajungi sa iti identifici parti din viata ta si experiente de tot felul cu cladirile din acel oras. Un corp rece si neutru devine prin asociere un declansator emotional. Nu ma refer aici la cladirile reprezentative, la emblemele orasului pentru ca ele reprezinta automat ceva – brasovenii sunt foarte atasati de orasul lor, and for good reason :) Ma refer la conotatiile personale, unice pe care le adaugam unor locuri aparent nesemnificative, ori care nu ies in evidenta cu ceva obiectiv pentru restul locuitorilor aceluiasi spatiu. Aproape de fiecare data, trecand pe langa locurile respective, imi amintesc involuntar dar foarte precis ce ma leaga de ele. Cred ca asa ajungem sa ne regasim in orasul in care traim si sa creem o legatura organica.

[urmeaza niste coordonate familiare pentru brasoveni... cei carora va suna extraterestru, luati-le ca atare :)]

De exemplu, cladirea de langa restaurantul hotelului Aro, multifunctionala de-a lungul istoriei si care de un an incoace gazduieste o banca imi aminteste de data 20-ish august anul trecut. Era cu cateva zile inainte sa plec din tara si ma ocupam de ultimele formalitati, ametita cum sunt, in ultima secunda. La Rectorat mi se spune ca un contract trebuie semnat de decan. Mi se mai spune ca in aceeasi zi decanul isi incepea concediul si pleca din tara. Am zis sa trec totusi pe la facultatea mea, poate il gasesc, sau pe prodecan sau ceva – ma treceau toate emotiile posibile, ma detestam pentru obiceiul de a taragana. Mergand imbufnata, in fata bancii de care v-am zis apare un nene… Bai, asta seamana cu decanul (tocmai preluase cineva nou functia). Instinctul a actionat imediat, m-am dus brusc la el si l-am intrebat daca e domnul X. El era. L-am pus sa imi semneze contractul in mijlocul strazii. “Pix ai?” “A…n-am (god, I’m stupid)”. Solutie de urgenta: milogit la portarul de la banca, cu decanul facultatii dupa mine :)) Got the job done?! Yes I did! Mi-a urat succes etc, probabil fericit sa scape de nebuna :)

Urcand spre Schei pe Brancoveanu, undeva pe dreapta, ascunsa intr-o curte sta cladirea unei scoli. Acum e abandonata, pentru ca nu mai sunt suficienti copii cat sa formeze clasele si au fost preluati de liceul de care apartinea scoala (care e cu vreo 3 case mai sus). E scoala unde am facut primara, unde am avut primele stresuri si primele “succese” (trebuia sa scriu succesuri, ca rima); e ca si cum cineva vine si spune ca trecutul tau nu mai poate fi validat pentru ca, uite, prezentul nu-i corespunde…

Mai sunt unele localuri, pe care le leg strict de cate o persoana din trecut, si locurile unde am lucrat pe care le asociez in general cu stari… Gara din Stockholm o asociez cu o coincidenta interesanta: m-am intalnit acolo, accidental, cu o colega de stagiu Erasmus din Copenhaga (tipa fiind din Austria), care venise in aceleasi cateva zile sa vada orasul.

E ciudat insa, cladiri unde au avut loc evenimente relativ mai importante (banchete, de ex) mi-au devenit in timp oarecum neutre. Cu toate ca, daca ar fi sa am un “atasament” emotional fata de toate locurile care au insemnat vreodata ceva pentru mine as fi toata o nostalgie prin tot orasul :))

Aveti experiente sau atasamente de genul acesta? Sau am devenit eu hipersensibila… :) Luati de povestiti.

Articolul e la votare, aici.

Suntem orbi la solutiile care ne sunt cel mai la indemana.Asa ca tind sa cred ca si la nivel psihic putem sa vorbim de suprasaturare cu stimuli, mai pe romaneste de obisnuinta. E un mare dusman al creativitatii, obisnuinta si rutina, ca ne face sa ne acceptam zona de confort si sa nu stim sa o exploatam. E ceea ce englezu’ cred ca ar numi taking things for granted, insa nu numai asta ci si de consecinta ei.

De fiecare data cand ne confuntam cu o alegere sau cu o problema, cautam solutia undeva departe de noi, pe buza prapastiei inaccesibilului – ceea ce uneori da roade, adica asta poate fi inteles ca dorinta de a tinti mereu mai departe… Dar mai inseamna si ca nu stim sa ne valorificam experienta si lucrurile care deja ne sunt familiare. 

Cred ca tindem sa ne comportam asa pentru ca suntem invatati de mici ca “viata e grea” si ca “trebuie sa lupti pentru ceea ce vrei”. Si parca al nostru minunat creier nu vrea sa priceapa ca lucrurile sunt de multe ori mai simple decat par si ca solutia e pe jumatate acolo.Si cum iarasi ar spune englezul, we really need to wrap our heads around that. Sunt sigura ca vi s-a intamplat asta cel putin o data, pentru ca pe undeva tuturor ne place sa ne complicam existenta inutil. 

Pur si simplu ajungem sa ne obisnuim atat de tare cu ceea ce suntem si cu ceea ce avem incat nu mai stim sa le observam. Daca stau sa ma gandesc, imi place sa fac o gramada de chestii de la scris si tradus la foto si chestii care tin de design, ceea ce inseamna ca in toate activitatile astea am cunoscut multi oameni destul de diversi. Fiind toate foarte placute, mult mai aproape de hobby decat de asta-vreau-sa-fac-la-modul-serios nu mai percep ca se poate face si altceva cu ele. Ca imi pot folosi in situatii concrete – asa ca in loc sa ma folosesc de ele in ]situatii unde s-ar potrivi ma apuc sa alerg dupa cai verzi pe pereti. Bogdan zicea ca [sociologii - dar eu o s-o aplic personal] avem talentul sa spunem un lucru intr-o gramada de feluri si cu foarte multe cuvinte, numai sa nu spunel lucrul in sine :) Da, imi place sa aberez, cred ca ati observat si chiar nu mai am cum sa ma scot acum.

Bine, o sa ziceti, asta inseamna ca vrei mai mult si vrei sa te depasesti. O fi, dar eu zic ca inseamna ca sunt ametita si numai eu nu vad corelatii intre lucruri absolut evidente :))

Obsesia zilei de azi with lyrics… Just enjoy the sound

Letting the Cables Sleep   

You in the dark • You in the pain • You on the run • Living a hell • Living your ghost • Living your end • Never seem to get in the place that I belong • Don’t wanna lose the time • Lose the time to come  

Whatever you say it’s alright • Whatever you do it’s all good • Whatever you say it’s alright • Silence is not the way • We need to talk about it • If heaven is on the way • If heaven is on the way    

You in the sea • On a decline • Breaking the waves • Watching the lights go down • Letting the cables sleep    

Whatever you say it’s alright • Whatever you do it’s all good • Whatever you say it’s alright • Silence is not the way • We need to talk about it • If heaven is on the way • If heaven is on the way • We’ll wrap the world around it • If heaven is on the way • If heaven is on the way    

I’m a stranger in this town • I’m a stranger in this town      If heaven is on the way • If heaven is on the way • I’m a stranger in this town • I’m a stranger in this town  

For those of you who are patient and interested in insights… – Hectic and emotion-driven  post

My fascination with Sweden began when I was about 15 and starting to understand the surrounding realities. The bits of information I had were scarce and my access to the Internet was…limited, at best (year 2001-ish) but the general image that began to take shape in my mind included the concept of  better. Better wages, better services, better respect for others, better past, better economy, better people (you know, nice, tall and blond?) It’s a common Romanian belief that any other country is better than ours – not getting into details now. 

So around 2002 I made up my mind: I wanted to go to Sweden. I had no idea when that was going to happen and made no real plan concerning the visit, it was just wishful thinking at the time. In the meantime I kind of grew up and snapped my fingers and I ended up in Copenhagen. This was actually my first time out of the country, I’d never been abroad before so I really had no real perception about what I would find or whether I could cope with all-new surroundings or not. It’s one thing to know the theory about culture shock but in a real life situation it’s just you and the unknown.

Just a few days before coming to Copenhagen, my feelings were mixed. Excitement seemed to dominate me, but there were also fear, insecurity and a lot of question marks tossed into the mix. Eventually I just decided to be positive: should something go wrong, there was always the way home – but that would have been labeled as a failure. Sometimes, even months before leaving, I would dream about walking around Copenhagen, taking pictures and enjoying every minute, but then I”d wake up and think to myself: “Where the hell am I going?! I’ll be alone in a strange country, among strangers speaking crazy words that mean nothing to me. What if I get lost? How will I get by? Is this fo’ real??” 

my first picture of CPH

When I got here I was disoriented. I mean, I was trying to find an exit from the airpot to get a bus, instead I ended up taking the metro, and surfaced in a crowded street, full of people, cars and an unlimited number of bikes, old buildings, something that looked like a station, buses coming from directions I could not identify. I panicked for about 20 seconds and then took a cab to the hostel – big suitcase, tired, no good map, no orientation skills. After checking into the hostel, I left my big suitcase is the room, took a small(er) bag with me and just headed out. Out where? I had NO idea. Just OUT. I’d seen a big, brown-and-green building on the way so I thought I’d go see what that was. My excitement was so great that I didn’t care that it was dark, cloudy, almost raining, humid and extremely windy and that my bag was very heavy and hurting my back.

I left with just a general direction I wanted to follow in my mind. I found the big building, with its big square, a weird fountain, a nice terrace and a lot of people swarming around them, most of them tourists. The thought that I was here to stay longer than most of them made me smile and I suddenly realized the discovery moments are unique: I’d never see these places for the first time again. I started walking along the pedestrian streets in the old part of the city, checking the map every now and then to see whether I was still in Denmark :) I strolled for hours, discovering buildings, streets and canals, the old and the new combined in harmony – I’d never seen that before. As for all the water in the city – well, that was about the greatest thrill of all! I love everything that involves water, from fountains to rivers and seas. As I grew up in a city surrounded my mountains and hundreds of miles away from the sea, it was only natural that I would love what I did not have access to – that’s actually a great part of my personality and, whether I like it or not, this “principle” has steered many of my actions.

I’ve been living in Copenhagen for almost 5 months now, and the city still fascinates me. Somehow I always discover new things even around familiar places. I know the center of the city well enough to forget my map and not get lost. Today I passed by the hostel where I spent my first few days and remembered my first walk along the street, Hans Christian Andersen’s Boulevard, where I also took my first picture. The first building to impress me was the Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek, an art museum “guarded” by lion statues.  The simple, stupid fact that I can now name the places and buildings I saw back then amazes me and I feel like a kid who’s learned something new and beautiful that has changed his universe. To this day there are big areas of the city I haven’t seen, or that I’ve only crossed to get to some other place, but I believe it’s far more important to get the feel of a place and to enjoy it rather than be concerned about not missing anything. 

I’m sure I won’t remember to visit everything I ever thought of, but I won’t let that stress me out in my last days here. I have 8 more days to spend in Copenhagen and I’m already missing it. The other 3 days left until the 31st are dedicated to Stockholm – which brings me back to the beginning of this “story.” Sweden becomes a dream come true for me, although in the past years I stopped obsessing over it ;)) I only realized that two days ago, when I was on the train. To Sweden. The city of Malmo, to be exact, which is across the Oresund Bridge from Copenhagen, a ride which takes about 40 minutes. I’ve been planning to go there for months, but somehow never got round to it.

Why? Because people tend to take things for granted – myself included. The idea that I could see it whenever I wanted made me postpone it indefinitely, and made my last two weeks here full. Which is not bad, actually. I think I’ll remember this as one of the happiest times of my life so far. My stay here as well as the travelling I have done exceed the expectations I had. It could have been better and it could have been worse.

But it’s been wonderful.

De prin noiembrie va tot aburesc ca o sa ajung si prin orasul asta, si acum tocmai mi-am facut rezervarile pentru avion si pentru cazare. Goddammit :) Avionul ma costa 86 de euro si cazarea 37. Not bad, zic eu, si ar fi fost pacat sa nu ajung pe acolo daca tot eram atat de aproape. Now I have one more thing to look forward to. Pentru o secunda-doua incepusem sa imi fac griji, cum ma descurc prin oras si alte abureli. HA! Been there, done that. Stockholmul e chiar mai mic decat Copenhaga, e situat pe multe insulite si it’s supposed to be really nice. Asa ca de pe 25 dimineata pana pe 27 seara pe la unspe o sa fiu pe taramuri suedeze. Imi doream de ceva ani sa ajung acolo. Evident ca o sa fac ‘jdemii de poze si evident ca nu o sa ma intereseze ca mi-e frig and shit. Luana happy >